The vast openness of reality can’t be known through the filter of thought. Reality knows itself by being here and now, being the present moment. Being reality, it is what is actually here and now. Being reality, it is our awareness of being present here and now. What is the ultimate meaning of our life as a human being? Being here and now is it. The analogy of a cinema screen if often used in pointing to the relationship between reality, or awareness itself, and its expressions. In the movie theater, we observe, we witness the many flickering images on the screen. We enjoy the movie to the extent that we are able to identify with, and get involved with the story on the screen. The pictures on the screen aren’t real to the extent that they are only light reflected on the screen. The screen itself is the actual substance and source of the pictures reflected on it. No matter how emotionally caught up we get in the movie, we know there is nothing real happening on the screen. The screen of reality, our awareness of being present, is the background and actual substance of our experience. Our seeing, hearing, feeling, and thinking are reflections of the presence looking out from our eyes. Of course the cinema screen isn’t a perfect analogy. We can form a concept of the cinema screen. Reality itself can’t be caught by any of our attempts to define or perceive it. It is what makes defining and perceiving possible, but it’s free of all definition and perception.
If we learn to just witness our sensory experience, we can begin to develop an intuitive awareness of this spaceless and timeless presence giving rise to all our experience. Thoughts come and go, sights, sounds, and feelings come and go. They arise as a reflection on the screen of our awareness, but pass away in the continual flow of our experience. That which witnesses our experience is there before, during, and after any particular experience passes away. The awareness we are doesn’t come and go with our experience, it is the vast timeless expanse out of which all experience arises. Just as the cinema screen effortlessly welcomes and is unmoved by the many pictures flashing on it, the screen of our awareness effortlessly welcomes and reflects all of our experience as it flows by.
In meditation practice we learn to identify with our awareness of just being present. Meditation can be described as the refusal to attach to thoughts. All of our sensory experience is colored by our thoughts. As we learn to become witnessing observers of our experience by not making efforts to control it, we can begin to sense the presence of that which is unchanging amidst our ever changing experience. The simple awareness of being present is what doesn’t change amidst our experience. We can’t try to be this awareness of being present, because we always already are this presence before we try to be it. In fact the effort to be it, blocks our ability to realize we are it. The first mistake most of us make in practicing meditation is to make witnessing awareness into an object to be grasped, whereas it is simply the Seer of all objects that arise, and it is ‘felt’ only as a great background sense of Freedom and Release from all objects. Awareness itself is free of all the concepts we attempt to label it with. So the felt sense of our aware presence, the feeling of our aliveness, is not the feeling of a separate self, it is the feeling, it is the aliveness of spirit itself. In meditation, and in living our daily lives, we are receiving, finding, and learning to live as the aliveness of spirit in the form of a human being.
Resting in that Freedom and Emptiness, and impartially witnessing all that arises, we will notice that the separate self, or ego, simply arises in consciousness like everything else. We can actually feel the self contraction, just like we can feel our bodies, a chair, or any other object. The self-contraction is a feeling of interior tension, often localized behind the eyes, and anchored in a slight muscle tension throughout the bodymind. It is an effort and sensation of contracting in the face of the world. It is a subtle whole-body tension. Once people become comfortable resting as the empty witness, and once they notice the tension that is the self-contraction, they imagine that enlightenment won’t happen unless they get rid of the self-contraction. Just that is the second mistake, because it actually locks the self-contraction firmly into place. It is the ego that is trying to get rid of the ego. Ego is not a thing but a subtle effort, and we can’t use effort to get rid of effort, we end up with two efforts instead of one.
We assume the self contraction hides or obstructs spirit, whereas in fact it is simply a radiant manifestation of spirit itself, like every other form in the universe. All forms are not other than expressions of the alive support and love of spirit. Spirit is our awareness of being present that we share with all beings.