Author Archive | Roger Hawkins

For God So Loved the World

John 3 16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that who so ever believes in him will not perish, but will have ever lasting life.” Who ever believes in Christ’s spirit, in the unconditional love that he prayed would flow through him to all of God’s sons and daughters, will realize spirit that isn’t born and will never die.

How many times have we heard about the deep unconditional love, and support of the spirit of inter being? It was never born, there was never a time it wasn’t right here, and there will never be a time that it isn’t right here, it knows no death. We are the sons and daughters born of that which was never born and will never die. For the source, or God, so loves us that she gave us to the world, is always giving us to existence, that we might freely awaken all hearts to the one deathless and timeless heart of the spirit of creation.

The power that creates all the galaxies, all time and space, gave us birth out of her love and infinite joy. Can it not be the truth? Where can the separation between what we think we are, and the reality of this spirit be found? Reality is always right here. Being reality, how can it not be here? Being as we are, we know that we are, how can we not be here? How can we not be reality? How can we not be the full expression of reality, right here, right now, just as we are?

Are we not here to bring the realization of the unborn into the world, so the world can be redeemed? Are we not here to offer everything to the timeless boundless nature, and so redeem all suffering so it can be seen as it really is? To see it as it really is, is to see it free of all labels, free of all confinement, free of all separation from the loving source of awareness itself. We are here to offer all of it to the Great Mystery, which transforms into the great affirmation of reality itself..

Our souls are not ours, they are God’s. We don’t know what they are, we only know that they are. Conscious breathing is the anchor in the center of experience, the energy allows everything to float free in the love of spirit. Feelings are like clouds in the sky; constantly dissolving, constantly moving, sights, sounds, and thoughts are also like this. They don’t belong to anyone but the unknowable. The unknowable is the true nature of reality. The unknowable is what we actually are.  We are unknowable, but we are.

The mysterious nature of experience is never more or less mysterious, no matter what type of experience we’re experiencing. This freedom from conceptual knowing expresses the full aliveness of spirit, which is always with us. We’re always experiencing THIS, freedom itself.  Gradually we learn we don’t gain or lose anything from experience, we are actually experiencing the innate freedom of spirit again and again in ever new forms. And realizing there is nothing to gain or lose, we learn to let go of our agendas with regard to experience.

As we are, we are the truth, what other truth could there ever be besides things as they are. When we understand this, things are as they are. When we don’t understand this, things are as they are. Reality, things as they are, includes all ideas that things could be different than they are. But things are still as they are, the love of it all is eternally being given to us, the sons and daughters of the spirit. As the sons and daughters of spirit we are always being invited to spread this love everywhere, awakening all beings to things as they are.

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The Dharma of Dogs

I was visiting my sister in Boulder a couple of months ago, and in a bookstore I saw a book titled the Dharma of Dogs. The subtitle is ‘our best friends as spiritual teachers’. The dog on the cover has an uncanny resemblance to my black lab Bruno, especially in the deep peace and unconditional acceptance that shines through their eyes.  I heartily recommend the book to all dog lovers on the path.

I love Bruno and Bruno loves me, sometimes I say it verbally to him though there is no need to do so. We both feel it in our hearts. When I’m alone with Bruno, I feel a deeper connection with the inner spiritual teacher, some like to call this our guru, or our original face. We sit outside together for an hour every day that we can, and this is a very special time for us. It’s a beautiful setting with the surrounding forest, it’s always a time for us to commune in a deeper way with nature.

It feels like outside with Bruno there is a higher vibrational energy that permeates my being, and when Bruno softly licks my hands and gazes lovingly into my eyes, I know that energy is what we actually are, and that we actually are love. All of my dogs lived for love, all dogs do. People do also, but we get distracted and confused about the main point. In these special moments with Bruno, it’s like he’s saying see? It really is all about love.

The most beautiful thing about Bruno isn’t his beautiful black shiny fur, or his bright eyes both of which make him a most handsome animal. The most beautiful thing about him is his loving heart. He’s totally in the here and now, he has no plans, and doesn’t care how successful I am, how well I get along with others, or if I’m enlightened or not. I feel that non judgmental acceptance, and we just bask in the freedom from all confines of thinking.

Nisargadatta says ‘Being free of attachment to thought in the waking state is the deepest devotion.’ That’s an extremely exhalted state for almost all human beings. For a dog like Bruno, it his natural condition 24/7. Meister Eckhart saw every creature as the Word of God. Who teaches and exemplifies that for us better than our own loyal dogs, living in simplicity and delight, reveling enthusiastically in the senses as in eternity, while loving the one who feeds them? A spiritual master gives himself to whatever the moment brings. He doesn’t think about his actions, they just flow naturally from the core of his being. Who better exemplifies this than a dog bounding after a ball or rolled up sock?

Bruno is the best kid dog I’ve ever known. My boys have been with him for about 4 and a half years, and he’s done such a wonderful job of being their play mate with unfailing devotion and the deepest love. In the spiritual context, devoted means one with. When I see how completely relaxed and devoted Bruno is in being intimate with my children, I know he’s teaching them things about the oneness of all life, about loyalty,  and unconditional devotional acceptance in ways I know I’m still lacking.

I remember a very wise friend said once in a discussion about dogs and spirituality: It’s people who tell us that dogs aren’t enlightened.

 

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Gratitude and Great Fullness

The world of suffering and discrimination is filled with the light of the rising sun

–The Refuge Chant

In Zen, gratitude is an important devotional practice. We can find a context for gratitude–which can make our practice come alive–by contemplating one of our Zen ancestors, Dogen Zenji’s sayings from The Shobogenzo: “When one attains the Way, the Way is always left to the Way.”  When the Way is left to the Way, there is no need to add anything, seek anything or move away from anything that is happening. We are totally immersed in the Way, with the vitality of awareness. The Way is also called the great emptiness or the great fullness. The great fullness is so full that we cannot find anything separate from it. We cannot find any thing at all.

Brother David Steindl-Rast describes gratefulness as great fullness. We are grateful that the Great Spirit shares its great fullness of life with us.  When we learn to receive the depth of this fullness, we simultaneously realize we can’t find our separate ego.  The ego can be thought of as a cipher, huge as an ocean within us that sucks up almost all of  our energy.  What a relief to release some of that pent-up energy and offer it to the universal heart we all share.  As profound as our offering, so inexhaustible is the gratitude of our true self for our willingness offer our lives to it. With enormous fullness,  spirit receives our offerings.

When we realize this, in the depth of our being we feel that all of our experience is welcomed as expressions of the wholeness of life. Realizing we are always unconditionally welcomed, we learn to welcome life unconditionally.

Of course there are some events we cannot summon up gratitude for; but these are truly opportunities to open up as much as we can to the great fullness. Regardless of our limitations, the spirit is just as thankful for our best efforts. From the viewpoint of the Buddhas or spirit itself, their fullness includes our limitations. We only need to cultivate the ability to see our catastrophes as opportunities.

So we leave the Way to the Way. And we can be grateful that the Way leaves us to us.  The sun is an equal opportunity provider, rising each morning, shining on everything with its peaceful warmth, revealing everything just as it is. Likewise the light of the Way shines equally on all its creations, leaving us to us. As we learn to expose ourselves more and more to the gifts of this life, we gradually realize our oneness. We realize that in leaving us to us, the Way offers us everything. Everything is filled with the light of the rising sun.

As we offer our own deluded fears and desires to the Buddhas, to the Great Spirit, we express our willingness to let them go.  By letting go, we are saying we no longer reside in them. How easy it is to assume we have accomplished this as a result of many long hours and years of contemplative meditation and prayer.  While our devotions do aid us greatly in deepening the ability to let go– absorbing ourselves in the mystery–we often delude ourselves into thinking we have arrived. Or that we have come further than we have.

When I look at the way I grab onto my ideas of how things should be, how I indulge my complaining mind, I frequently remind myself of an old Confucian saying: “When you see admirable behavior, emulate it. When you see despicable behavior, look at yourself.”  When a person repels us, that person only symbolizes a part of ourselves we do not like. Then we can be grateful for the opportunity to discover this, even though we are learning something we do not necessarily want to learn.

To the Buddhas, our indulgence in selfish behavior is an expression of the universal activity, nothing more, nothing less. They love it no more nor less than our feverish early morning devotional observances.

To the extent we are able to leave the Way to the Way, our patterns of denial are pushed out into the open air, awaiting our discovery.  Then we can more deeply look at our patterns of stinginess– how we do not want to see that we withhold ourselves from what is. Yet here is an opportunity to look at how we still build protective walls around ourselves, engaging and maintaining them, separating ourselves from others.

Let our gratitude extend to the opportunities presented by others. Let us see how upset and frustrated we still become when someone offends us in a way that pushes our buttons of pain and fear. Let us see how taking offense is the same as giving offense. So we can cultivate a spirit of thank-you-very-much for providing this opportunity, painful as it may be.  And thank you very much, Spirit, for providing others with a chance to give us these opportunities.  Thank you very much, Spirit, for giving us a way to overcome our fears of exposure to the great unknown. Thank you, Spirit, for giving others the opportunity to receive the gift of our response.  May they learn also to heed Confucius’ advice, and in their anger or denial, look to themselves.

 

 

 

 

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Gratitude

The world of suffering and discrimination is filled with the light of the rising sun

–The Refuge Chant

In Zen, gratitude is an important devotional practice. We can find a context for gratitude–which can make our practice come alive–by contemplating one of our Zen ancestors, Dogen Zenji’s sayings from The Shobogenzo: “When one attains the Way, the Way is always left to the Way.”  When the Way is left to the Way, there is no need to add anything, seek anything or move away from anything that is happening. We are totally immersed in the Way, with the vitality of awareness. The Way is also called the great emptiness or the great fullness. The great fullness is so full that we cannot find anything separate from it. We cannot find any thing at all.

Brother David Steindl-Rast describes gratefulness as great fullness. We are grateful that the Great Spirit shares its great fullness of life with us.  When we learn to receive the depth of this fullness, we simultaneously realize we can’t find our separate ego.  The ego can be thought of as a cipher, huge as an ocean within us that sucks up almost all of  our energy.  What a relief to release some of that pent-up energy and offer it to the universal heart we all share.  As profound as our offering, so inexhaustible is the gratitude of our true self for our willingness offer our lives to it. With enormous fullness,  spirit receives our offerings.

When we realize this, in the depth of our being we feel that all of our experience is welcomed as expressions of the wholeness of life. Realizing we are always unconditionally welcomed, we learn to welcome life unconditionally.

Of course there are some events we cannot summon up gratitude for; but these are truly opportunities to open up as much as we can to the great fullness. Regardless of our limitations, the spirit is just as thankful for our best efforts. From the viewpoint of the Buddhas or spirit itself, their fullness includes our limitations. We only need to cultivate the ability to see our catastrophes as opportunities.

So we leave the Way to the Way. And we can be grateful that the Way leaves us to us.  The sun is an equal opportunity provider, rising each morning, shining on everything with its peaceful warmth, revealing everything just as it is. Likewise the light of the Way shines equally on all its creations, leaving us to us. As we learn to expose ourselves more and more to the gifts of this life, we gradually realize our oneness. We realize that in leaving us to us, the Way offers us everything. Everything is filled with the light of the rising sun.

As we offer our own deluded fears and desires to the Buddhas, to the Great Spirit, we express our willingness to let them go.  By letting go, we are saying we no longer reside in them. How easy it is to assume we have accomplished this as a result of many long hours and years of contemplative meditation and prayer.  While our devotions do aid us greatly in deepening the ability to let go– absorbing ourselves in the mystery–we often delude ourselves into thinking we have arrived. Or that we have come further than we have.

When I look at the way I grab onto my ideas of how things should be, how I indulge my complaining mind, I frequently remind myself of an old Confucian saying: “When you see admirable behavior, emulate it. When you see despicable behavior, look at yourself.”  When a person repels us, that person only symbolizes a part of ourselves we do not like. Then we can be grateful for the opportunity to discover this, even though we are learning something we do not necessarily want to learn.

To the Buddhas, our indulgence in selfish behavior is an expression of the universal activity, nothing more, nothing less. They love it no more nor less than our feverish early morning devotional observances.

To the extent we are able to leave the Way to the Way, our patterns of denial are pushed out into the open air, awaiting our discovery.  Then we can more deeply look at our patterns of stinginess– how we do not want to see that we withhold ourselves from what is. Yet here is an opportunity to look at how we still build protective walls around ourselves, engaging and maintaining them, separating ourselves from others.

Let our gratitude extend to the opportunities presented by others. Let us see how upset and frustrated we still become when someone offends us in a way that pushes our buttons of pain and fear. Let us see how taking offense is the same as giving offense. So we can cultivate a spirit of thank-you-very-much for providing this opportunity, painful as it may be.  And thank you very much, Spirit, for providing others with a chance to give us these opportunities.  Thank you very much, Spirit, for giving us a way to overcome our fears of exposure to the great unknown. Thank you, Spirit, for giving others the opportunity to receive the gift of our response.  May they learn also to heed Confucius’ advice, and in their anger or denial, look to themselves.

 

 

 

 

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Feel the Current of Our True Nature

If one engages in meditation with a serious purpose of earnestness and devotion to the task of self realization, one will gradually begin to feel the pull of a tremendous force greater than our idea of being a separate body/mind.  There are many different variations of meditative practices to help us cultivate the necessary spirit of inquiry, but it is the intensity of earnestness and longing that really does all the work. What is important for us is the moment at which we will enter this tremendous force or current that is the movement of our true being, the going forth, in other words, the great pilgrimage.

When we’ve found certain practices that support our continued meditation, it’s important to spend regular hours every day if possible building the momentum of the practice.  In this way, try to bind yourself to the quest for God, for the source of all of our experience.  Wherever you may be, take refuge in your very being , let the Being we all share be your goal.  When by virtue of this endeavor you become deeply immersed in that current and devote ever more time to it, you will be transformed and your appetite for sense enjoyment will grow feeble; this is how to reap the fruit of accumulated efforts. In this context, current refers to the flow of the life force, the flow of our sensory experience throughout our body/mind.

The flow of the current includes thought, thought energy is just one manifestation of the current. It can be likened to bubbles floating on top of and popping on the surface of the current of a river.  But the current of the flow of our river of experience isn’t dependent on, or controlled by the thought bubbles, anymore than the bubbles on the surface direct or control  a river.

It is usually only after many long years of dedicated, earnest meditation, that there may also come a time  when you feel that the body is liable to depart at any time, that death may arrive at any moment. Many  students have fleeting experiences of this through extreme traumas, near death experiences, or psychedelic drugs. These are an intensification of the current, and they can be helpful for inspiration. For earnest aspirants on the path, there comes a time when they are no longer sought after.

Seeking extraordinary experiences is then realized to be an ego based obstacle to continual abidance in the current which is free from the self centered desire for transcendent experience. We gradually learn to leave the intensification and relaxation of the current to the flow itself, and more and more the impulse to control and possess the current of the life force within and without, falls away.

At this stage, one begins to feel an ever increasing pull from the current of the life force away from the confines of our personal body/mind, while still maintaining our connection with it, and maintaining the freedom to function as a human being. We then continue to surrender our self conscious efforts steadily without flagging, and yield to the infinite power drawing us more intimately into the actual feel of our true nature.  Gradually we are more and more deeply absorbed in feel of the flow – infinite consciousness alone will preoccupy our thoughts and feelings.  For the mind ever seeks that which gives it proper sustenance, and this cannot be provided by anything save the Supreme Being.  Then we will be carried away by the current that leads to our Self.

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Realize What Can’t Be Doubted

When we allow ourselves to deeply ask the question “What or who am I?” we are allowing ourselves to become what Zen master Hakuin called The Great Doubt: “At the bottom of great doubt lies great awakening. If you doubt fully, you will awaken fully.”

The Zen masters teach us that the fully awakened mind is always already fully present in its entirety, with nothing lacking. When I first started practicing Zen, this statement became the object of my own great doubt. My questioning brought me face to face again and again with the reality that my thinking mind did not, could not, fully believe this statement. Gradually it became clear that there was no way to do away with the doubt. Great doubt is one expression of what we are. It became clear to me that to deeply ask the question of “Who am I?” was to allow myself to become the doubt itself.

Eventually I realized I had thought all along that I was doubting Buddha nature, doubting enlightenment itself. But when I finally left my awareness to itself, including all my ideas about it, I realized what is actually here and now cannot be doubted. All this time, I had been doubting the truth of my ideas of reality. There is no truth to be found in the concept of enlightenment or Buddha Nature. So it is imperative to doubt the truth of our concepts about enlightenment, and at the same time to be aware what we are doubting.

Reality is not an it that can be doubted or affirmed. Reality cannot be grasped by making it into an object of thought. But we have to try. Indeed, our spirit of inquiry is deepened by our trying. It is deepened by our wanting to know. This is our role: not to know what reality is. Here and now is the source. Here and now is one hundred percent identical with every possible manifestation in the universe. If you doubt this idea deeply, you will awaken deeply.

Saint Augustine said start with general doubt, and doubt absolutely everything you can. You will find that you can doubt the reliability of logic (it might be wrong), you can even doubt the reliability of sense impressions (they might be a hallucination).  But even in the most intense doubt we are aware of the doubt itself; in our immediate awareness there is certainty, even if it is only a certainty that we are doubting – and we can never shake that certainty. Immediate awareness is always what is manifesting the concept of doubt.  Any truth in the exterior world can be doubted, but always there is the certainty of interior immediateness or basic Wakefulness; and God, said Augustine, lies in and through that basic Wakefulness, whose certainty is never, and can never be, actually doubted.

If you doubt these ideas of Augustine’s deeply, the certainty of the presence of immediate awareness, the certainty of the presence of God, can be deeply awakened to.

 

 

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Devotion to the Source

Many great teachers tell us that to plumb the depths of self realization, or enlightened awareness, we need to cultivate both wisdom and devotion in our contemplative practice. To me wisdom is the willingness to see all of our life as it actually is. Wisdom complements devotion by providing the insight to unconditionally accept and surrender to things as they actually are; to surrender to the power of the great mystery,  surrender to the life force that only alone always simply is.

I was watching a movie the other day, called the Others, that was about a mother and her children living in a haunted house.  In the end it turns out that they were the ghosts who were already dead, and didn’t realize it till the very end of the movie.

Quite a few times I’ve read about teachers being asked about their fear of death, and replying ‘I’m already dead.’ I’ve had the intellectual understanding that they mean they are dead to the sense of being confined to a separate self. To them the separate self is but a shadow; they can act from it to help beings, but they aren’t caught by the idea that this shadow self is anything more than a pale reflection of the overwhelming actuality of the light of infinite consciousness.

When observing the initial panic of the mother and her children realizing that they were no longer in physical bodies, that they were dead in the conventional sense, I was quite surprised to find myself identifying with their fear.  I realized I’ve never known who or what I am, I am already dead, there’s no life in these ideas of me!

As I allowed breathing with the sense of fear, I felt the utter falseness of my identification with a physical body.  The small i was clearly seen as a ghost like stream of thoughts, with ethereal sensations and perceptions that the ghost of thought imagined to be real. Then I realized the sense of being a ghost was just another illusory thought stream.  The true ‘I’, our actual identity, was revealed to be the presence of the light of awareness itself free from all qualities. It is always abiding everywhere, and at the same time is nowhere perceivable.  The small i isn’t just ghost like, it’s smaller than the smallest imaginable nano particle. The deep flowing compassion and love for suffering beings isn’t mine. All beings share the light of pure awareness together.

The thought flashed: ‘How could we continually fool ourselves into believing we actually have any control over the power of ultimate reality?’ Realizing that we’re nothing perceivable, felt like embodying wisdom on a deeper level than I had previously allowed myself. I also intuitively felt that embodying wisdom naturally turns into embodying devotion to the source of all manifestation, to our true mother and father.  The light of infinite consciousness is our true body, allowing it to expand melts the sense of being separate like snow melting by a fire.

In the context of contemplative practice, devoted means to be one with. Here devotion isn’t about self consciously trying to be devoted.  Witnessing and unconditionally accepting our self conscious trying without the effort to manipulate it in any way, is to be unattached to thinking. Our self conscious effort is a mere shadow of the blissful light of infinite consciousness. Receiving and offering the life force of infinite consciousness, with the willingness to be free of attachment to thoughts, is the greatest devotion. For me this statement is an ever growing intuition, a koan and at the same time a question to live out and offer for others to find their own inspiration in finding their way on the path of self realization.

 

 

 

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Negative Emotions

The goal is not to do away with negative emotions. The goal is to learn how to experience them in a way that bothers us less, like the old saying, “It hurts more but bothers you less.”

 

Eckhart Tolle was on Oprah Winfrey’s online show some years ago, reaching over a million people per broadcast.  At one point during one of the shows, Winfrey started a dialogue with Tolle about negative emotions. Tolle stated that he hardly ever experiences negative emotions anymore. He claimed it happened only one time in the last few years, when he witnessed an animal being tortured. The anger was there for a minute or two, he said.

In 2008 I went to visit the American spiritual teacher, Gangaji (in the Indian lineage of Sri Ramana Maharshi) in Asheville, and I asked her about this Tolle incident.  Her reply was, “Well, that may be what some people experience; it’s not what I experience.” The tone of her response was neutral–it’s fine for that to be Tolle’s experience, and it’s fine for it not to be her experience.  Immediately, I realized she had less judgment about what Tolle said than I did. I found myself asking whether some part of Tolle–conscious or not–is trying to fend off negative emotions.  There is no way for me to know. What I do know is that it is quite human to want to transcend our humanity. However as long as we are still here in this body, there is always more to surrender, no matter how one-with-everything we may appear to be.

My concern is that those among the million viewers of Tolle and Winfrey who are new to the path may assume Tolle’s idea of hardly-any-negative-emotions is the pinnacle of the path. Trying to achieve a state without negative emotions would only intensify our suffering. To push negativity away ups the ante of our inner conflicts, leading to more mental pain. When I voiced this concern to Gangagi, she said yes in a way that indicated she strongly agreed Tolle’s statement could be problematic.

When we’re really able to open up to whatever experience arises, then what is arising is not only happening to what I perceive of as me.  It is happening to all beings simultaneously. There’s no sticking point. No judgment. Thoughts about the negative emotions are accepted and allowed to dissolve as they always do, whether accompanying emotions are positive or negative. When thought dissolves, my sense of a static me dissolves with it. In that way, the emotions are still deeply experienced, but the idea of a self to experience them is no longer of special importance.

The question arises for me, if you are human and you no longer experience negative emotions, is the capacity to experience these emotions diminished?  And if this is the case, is not the capacity to experience joyful emotions also diminished?   To no longer experience negative emotions perhaps blocks the potential for the full expression of human life, and constitutes an incomplete realization of what we are. There exists a heart of realization where the need to transcend anything, including the pain of being human, is itself transcended.

“Why does negativity arise?” a student asked at a recent retreat.  “I don’t know,” was my reply. The real question, the deeper question, is not why. The deeper question is what? Is negativity real? What is it really?  As we allow ourselves to sink into these questions, we’re no longer sure of who is experiencing our experience.  So the goal is not to do away with negative emotions. The goal is to learn how to experience them in a way that can open us to the divine love which is the true source of all emotion.

When hurt is allowed to intensify, the intensity becomes less confined to the one experiencing it, simply because the emotion is freed from the limits of self to expand and dissipate. We may hurt more, but in the midst of the intensity, the idea of self-experiencing-hurt vanishes. So hurt is no longer happening only to me. We realize all beings are in league to help absorb our pain. And as the Buddhist loving kindness prayer goes, “May I accept my pain, knowing that my heart is not limited by it.”

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No Vacancy

The spirit of Soen Roshi’s laughter is the spirit of liberation. It’s like a Zen master banging his staff on the ground – THIS IS IT!

 

During a retreat a some years ago, Zen teacher Lou Nordstrom told a story about the famous Zen Roshi, Soen, an eccentric and deeply realized Zen master who spent some time in America during his later years when Lou was a young student. Lou claims there are not many real Zen teachers, but that Soen Roshi was undeniably one of them.  Lou told us Soen often appeared to be in another world.  One day the two of them were driving by a motel on the side of the road, and Soen Roshi noticed a sign that read No Vacancy.  He began to laugh and said in his heavily Japanese flavored English, “No Vacancy, No Vacancy!” That was all he said.

What did this crazy old man mean? This story is a koan. In fact, if Western or American modern koans are ever collected, I would surely vote this one in. We think of the word Vacancy as an open space inside of something else.  When there is No Vacancy, there is no such space, and therefore, no place to put anything. In the world of duality, there is inside and outside, and there is one object separate from the other objects, and countless others separated from all the rest. If we do not limit ourselves to a specific place, there is an infinite space in which to locate objects and create endless vacancies.

It seems to me that when Soen said “no vacancy,” he was referring to awareness or consciousness itself. We are so conditioned to think dualistically that when we hear the words awareness or consciousness, we create a concept of something outside of us.  Our creation is just a fantasy. Where can you find its reality?  In our dualistic minds, awareness becomes an object of thought.  This object is only a thought, but awareness cannot be grasped by thought. Thought arises. Awareness makes it possible. Awareness expresses itself while thought arises and morphs into many new forms.

Soen Roshi spent so much of his life inquiring about the source of awareness that eventually his identity shifted from the perspective of an individual mind and body to that of the open space of awareness from which all manifestations of a separate mind and body flow. The spirit of Soen Roshi’s laughter is the spirit of liberation. It’s like a Zen master banging his staff on the ground – THIS IS IT!

For Soen, taking a drive in a car on a highway was not any different from hanging out in outer space. He embodied the unity of the world of form and infinite space. The world of form is a manifestation of infinite space, not at all separate from it. No Vacancy, then, means the infinite possible expressions of form are one with the substance of space, of universal mind. There are no gaps in boundless space. The Dharma body, our true body, pervades everything. No Vacancy also means nothing can come in from the outside because there is no outside.

When we realize that whatever manifests is one with space, we are no longer confined to a human body. The body of infinite space is what we are.  There is nothing separate from this infinite body of awareness, which has no beginning nor end, and no locale, nothing separate. No space separates phenomena. What was humorous to Soen Roshi was that whoever posted the motel sign referring to an empty room was unwittingly declaring the condition of the cosmos.

It is impossible to create any true separation. The universe expresses itself as a unified whole, with diversity as one color of its rainbow. The universe is a component of the whole. Ungraspable, totally vacant, this wholeness contains no vacancy. It is always full and complete, as is, and there is always room for everything.

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